Standing against the robot

Work, bath, bed...work, bath, bed...work, bath, bed...to a state to become a robot.

How many and what great constant efforts I have done to assist the programme to keep this robot active. Copying all the rest of the robots - being a small 'person', having a 'small' partner, living in a small 'safe home' with small thoughts, yet with great desires, dreams and hopes... Yeah - bunch of craps, as a friend of mine said ones to me.

Shame on me! But to be honest, it's not the shame, but the pain in me that makes me angry...to myself. I try not to be, but 'feels' like walking against the wind... To a point I can't breath!!! Which suddenly wakes up my will to live and I open the whole my being as a deep breath, so I do transform the wind just as a deep breath.

And so I breath!...

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have a need of relationship to feel completed.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think my children are MINE.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define money as valuable.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have a fear I will have no money enough to raise my children.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make efforts to improve the quality , purpose and intention of my life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to accept the thought there is a creator of this world and I am his/its creature.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resist to correct my desires.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to avoid perfectly structured situations that give me opprotunities to express myself as my realself, by doing the opposite and been someone else, but not me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to build a screen and hiding behind it, having that way a false sense of security.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to poison myself with negative thoughts, judging every single my step and feeling a guilt I am never right.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ignore my needs, but working on the fulfilment of the others' needs.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to punish myself unintentionally and intentioanlly.