Weird

I closed my eyes and tried to withdraw from my thoughts, to be an observer.

It became a messy chaos and everything was going so quick, so I couldn't catch all of them. I was comletely awake and at some point I focused my look and I saw a path. It was a bit windy, the path narrow and gravel, but I knew I must go on. So I went further. It became quiet and I saw a gate. I've opened the gate and I entered a room. The only thing in the room was an wooden table and a small wooden bench. I sat on the bench and start waiting. I have no idea what/who I was waiting for. Just knew I have to wait. I stood up and approached the wall. There was a door on this wall. I've reached the handle to open it, but suddenly the whole wall opened ( in a way like the wall slided from the top and start opening down...like a draw-bridge or something like this.

Then I saw a fountain. The funny thing was there wasn't a water sprinkle from it, it was a gold light ( wiered ). I bypassed it and I found myself on a beach.After that everything that happened, was just a feeling. I couldn' see anythnig. It wasn't a picture, or a screen, or a dream, or anything, I just felt it. There was someone waiting for me.I wasn't curious, I just knew I must go and see the being. I was so calm, unbelieveble. Normaly I am pretty nervous to meet unknown people. So...I came nearer. Then I felf an attraction and I found myself hugged. I was hugged so gentle and it felt so cosily, I have no words to explain it. When I stepped back, I still couldn't see anything and anybody, but I knew who was it, that gave me this hug. There the madness comes now - it was me.

Me hugged me... Then...I stop breathing. It wasn't a force, I wasn't holding my breath. I just stopped breathing and I couldn't recall for how long, but it felt it was for longer than I would ever imagine I can bear without a breath. I could feel my heart beating, it became very silent and still.No any fibre of mine moved at all for a looong time... It was amazing!!! I was completely still with no any thought, no any sound - entire silence and no any movement of my body at all. I wasn't breathing !!! And it felt soooooo good!!! Then very slow my chest raised and some air penetrates through my nose veeeeeryyy slow to my lungs. It didn't hurt , but it was very, very slow and the first breath was very shallow, like a ray...and I hold it now in my chest, then breathed out very slow again. Then slowly my normal breathing came back.



I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to experience all above.

I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to be attracted by the experience, I've described above.

I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to participate on this situation, I've described above.

I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to 'feel' separated, then united into the experience,described above.

I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to be confused and afraid from the experience, described above.

I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to be ashamed and scared to share this experience.